I fought my way into this world, as I am a child of rape; my mother not wanting me. She went to a doctor for an abortion, but the doctor refused as she was 5 months pregnant. Then, she went to Tarrytown, ny to an adoption agency; but was convinced to keep me by the man she fell in love with, a patient she took care of on the ship returning from WWII. I cannot be greatfull enough for my daddy-dad fighting to keep me. This IS amazing grace! Not of my mother’s kind.
I fought my mother (all growing up) about the bible’s validity that only “born again” christians would go to heaven, or else go to hell. What kind of love is that?
I fought thru an F in calculus at Cornell University, being put on probation, then one year at a christian college, (to please my mother, and sadden my dad) to return and graduate from Cornell’s Nursing school with a BSN (Best Soul Nurture)
I fought the minister’s and church community’s advice not to permit my coming-out husband to have access to our 2 daughter’s because homosexuality is a “sin.”
I fought against my mother’s belief that Negroes were inferior, having fallen from god’s grace due to the curse of Ham. I hammed it up with black men in the seventies.
I fought my ‘christian’ in-laws dismissal of Tobi, our brown (mulatto) foster baby to the basement of their home; their anger at me for not respecting my Mississppi mother-in-laws belief to be separate from blacks (Negroes can be your friends, but don’t mix with them). I brought Tobi to their home every weekend we visited: my mother-in-law apologized to me 7 years later.
I fought off the guilt I’d learned about dancing being a worldly (ungodly) pursuit, hustling Saturday nights, (like John Travolta) attending church on Sundays, embracing the good fight of my hypocrisy. Now, I dance 4-5 nights a week! With joy!
I fought for natural childbirth; having to cross a state line to a small hospital in Susquehanna, Pa. where my husband would be allowed in the delivery room. Erin was born there, and now has a daughter named Hannah…becoming more aware of the synchronicity of everything, everyONE being connected.
I fought for three amicable divorces, my fourth husband not so willing, fighting with angry lies about me. In this marriage to Gregory, I learned not to fight with anger; I could no longer fight back my many tears, SOBs, (Shortness Of Breath? and/or Son Of Bitch?)
My tears help me fight off my fears of rejection, of not being loved.
I surprisingly rallied from my 65 in Cornell’s freshman English to my bewilderment of writing five books, so far, that fight for acceptance of tears as OPENing hearts (hear hear) to LOVE! (keep crying John BoehnEr! And I am not republican)
“Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.” – Thoreau
then LOVE will EVOLve…dianea