Tag Archives: EVOLving LOVEmaking

MAKING LOVE with OPENESS

Isn’t it great to be more open about SEX?

MAKING IT LAST

I’ve been having sex for forty years; bet you’d like to know what age I was when I started? I’ll tell you I was a virgin when married the first time…so it’s obvious I am a slow starter.
I guess I was supposed to make my marriage last by not having pre-marital sex as a “born again” christian. My husband left me because he came out of that repressive religious closet as a gay man, after granting us two beautiful daughters. Then, my sexual curiosity zoomed thru several boyfriends and three more marriages; my second marriage being an OPEN marriage trial.

Still, what was most difficult for me was to be able to talk out loud to my partners about what would bring me more pleasure: where to touch me, how to touch me, why to touch me. Thoughts of me ‘taking too long’ to reach orgasm stymied me, fearing I’d bruise his ego if I instructed my lover. Bottom line: fearful they wouldn’t love me enough, and therefore leave me.

Through psychotherapy, I became more OPEN with myself, I developed more
courage…asking to be touched or licked in certain ways. Most men responded without complaints. As my fears lessened, I noticed that I did not need as much time to come to orgasm, and also that I responded more to a lighter touch. This sensitivity was where men found me to be different…in a good way. They didn’t have to work so hard
Now, I let my tears be seen at orgasm, beautifully connecting us as one.

I’ve experienced men who enjoyed making love without having an orgasm right away or maybe none at all. I found my self saying out loud as I was feeling my pleasure of a building orgasm, my voice in his ear, “I want to make this last.”