It is 2000 when Eric and I hike to the floor of the Grand Canyon with a guided group of 12. We each carry back packs in the day and sleep together in a tent for two for a week. I feel we became closer, which was electrified when Eric says on the last day to all of the group: “It wasn’t so bad with my sister, after all.”

Presently, we’ve packed up our friendship since 2016, when I’m open as Father Sky, and Eric hides out in the canyon of fear of intimacy. How can I say this?

I am a Marriage and Family Therapist who helps clients design open hearts of vulnerability, while Eric designs buildings, very successfully.

Sadly, he uninvites me to his home after I write of my nephew’s incarceration in my yearly New Years letter to family and good friends. On Thanksgiving when 20 or more family members gather together, Eric is friendly, tolerating my hugs and I love you. A yearly exception.

Yearly, I sing Happy Birthday to Eric’s voicemail; in 2021 I also text: Happy Birthday Bro! coming from South Carolina visiting Dave’s (my husband) brother…see the dolphins and Magnolia Plantation here (photos). We could stop by tomorrow if you are open to it…sending you love!

To my surprise, Eric texts: Thanks for the birthday greetings. Tomorrow is complicated because of plans that we have made. Have a safe trip.

I respond: Have a fun birthday…care to share your plans? Eric: We are going on a helicopter ride above Baltimore. Me: Have fun! Reserve August 14th weekend to see me parachute fly for my 75th birthday. The whole gang will be here. I send a video of Blue Suck waterfall😊 which Dave and I had hiked to that day.

(A Suck is a whirlpool, a fitting metaphor for us as brother and sister?)