Hopefully your new year is off to a clean snow start…or better yet,
“crying that makes you happy,” as one of my male clients has said.
This entry is to GIVE you:
10 steps to Access healing Tears: “your pearls of god” as the poet Rumi expresses it.
1 Notice your feelings! Focus on feelings, not thoughts. I FEEL…sad, hurt,scared,alone,rejected,misunderstood,unheard,mistrusted…etc.
2 I feel like…I was hit by a Mack truck is a thought, not a feeling.
3 When angry, ask what triggered it? (or triggered the sadness, hurt, or fear)
4 Write the feelings down, as well as the triggering event
5 Close your eyes, ask yourself how this feeling feels familiar from your childhood – write down the memory (if you are crying, let yourself cry as much as needed first – same applies to anger/rage)
6 Give ROOM to FEEL…15-45 minutes if you can. If angry: hit pillows. tear paper, go to your car and scream, throw pillows. stomp. etc. whatever your body wants to do safely.
7 Get support, such as re-evealuation counseling, or co-counseling, or 12-step group
8 Let yourself feel tears: at movies, commercials, songs, looking at babies…:)
9 Find a photo of yourself as a small child, and put it up where you can’t help but SEE it, LOOK into his or her eyes for at least a minute, then hold that picture close to your heart for at least a minute …daily!
10 Say outloud to your child’s picture, “I love you,” every day.